A couple of months ago, Soul Sister and I left our children in the care of our very understanding husbands and flew to Italy for our very own two-week adventure.
I think you have to be a mother of small children to truly grasp my excitement.
For a whole 17 days and nights I would accomplish the following amazing feats:
- I would sleep when I was tired
- I would wake up when I was not tired anymore
- I would dress only myself
- I would eat what I wanted to eat when I was hungry
- I would not wipe anyone’s bottom (I was very clear on that last point with the small group I was going with)
These points alone would have made for a great holiday, even if I’d decided to spend it in a cardboard box. But I was spending it in bella Italia!
There were of course a few instructions from Souljourneyboy. He seemed unaccountably worried that I would lose either myself, my passport and/or my plane tickets. Unbelievably, Soul Sister seemed to feel that these concerns were not unfounded, so immediately took command of both my person and documents as soon as we were at the airport.
Soul Sister and I have been best friends since we were five, and we’ve been on many holidays together – but this, or course, was the nadir of holidays. This is how we looked when we got on the plane:
Yes, we were nearly passing out with the excitement.
We boarded the plane and I very nearly made the rookie mistake of reclining my seat right away. Luckily Soul Sister – a more seasoned traveler than I – advised me otherwise.
“When you actually want to sleep,” she said, “you need to make that 2 degrees really count.”
How right she was.
I began loving my cosy little seat with its own TV and dinner tray – but after 27 hours of continuous night-time, two books on the kindle, five movies and about three hours’ sleep we looked like this:
I just don’t understand how people join the Mile High club. This is how you look on a plane on a long flight. It’s not pretty. Besides, plane toilets are tiny and sound scary and that weird light makes you look kind of green and even more unattractive.
Still, once the pilot announced we were actually in Milan we rolled up the bags under our eyes and perked up considerably.
The excitement continued that afternoon as we headed into the heart of Milan (and ate gelato):
We then rounded off our first day in Italy very appropriately with pizza for dinner – and take a look at the size of the pizza slices! We’d initially thought paying per slice was a bit cheap, but that was before we’d realised they were as big as our heads:
It became quite clear that we would have to walk about 20km a day with all the gelato, pasta, risotto and pizza we were planning to eat.
As we caught the amazingly reliable metro-rail back to the hotel we pondered one of the great philosophical questions of our time: why is impossible for governments to have both a punctual rail service AND clean public toilets? It’s a mystery, but one seems to negate the other.
That night, I feel asleep to the incredible sounds of…
Absolutely nothing. This was partly because I’d brought earplugs, but also because there were NO CHILDREN in my near vicinity. No one woke me up because they’d wet the bed or had a bad dream or had pins and needles in their arms. By the end of two weeks of course I would even begin to miss the night-time calls of “Mu-um!” but that first night, I have to tell you. It was BLISS.
Stay tuned for more Italian adventures….